i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
