I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
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No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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