is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
