we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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