he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
