3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
