Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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