Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
another moral hangover. fuck.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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