She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
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You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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