Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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