Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
