I'm gonna have a badass scar
I puked a lego.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
