I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
At least life still wants to fuck me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
