How'd it feel making her break her religion?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize