I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
