he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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