Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
