wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
