Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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