the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
