I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
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I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
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He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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