I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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