goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
