1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
