I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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