I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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