who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
