I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
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