yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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