i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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