What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
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Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
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I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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