You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
