What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
