So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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