Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize