you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
