I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
