Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
