i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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