3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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