the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
