Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize