he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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