I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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