Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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