My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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