Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I touched a dick in church today
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
