I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
