yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
