So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
