u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
