I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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