kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
