I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize