Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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