Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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