Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
